A 12-week, self-guided Christian course with Dr. Michael Semon ◆ Begin on your own or with your spouse
You've Been Working Your Marriage Like a Second Job. And You're Exhausted.
Learn to step out of the fixing, peacekeeping, and silent scorekeeping so you can bring a steadier, more honest self to your marriage, even if your spouse isn't ready to join you.
Start the 12 Weeks for $97One payment. One purchase covers both spouses.
Prerecorded teaching, a fillable workbook, an assessment, visual learning materials, and access to the Paradox Companion and Dying to Live app.
What if trying harder has become part of what's wearing you down?
You've read the books. Planned the date nights. Learned how to say things more carefully.
But knowing what to say is different from feeling free to say it.
This course helps you work on the person bringing those words into the room: you.
Enroll in the CourseOne purchase covers both spouses. You can begin on your own.
Everyone Counts on You to Hold It Together. Who Gets to Know How You're Really Doing?
You keep the peace. Then carry the resentment.
You read his face before deciding whether to bring something up. You rehearse the conversation in the shower, then tell yourself it isn't worth it. The evening stays calm. The thing you needed to say stays with you.
You've become very good at being useful.
You remember. You organize. You anticipate. You make sure everyone is okay. People see what you do for them. Somewhere along the way, you started wondering whether they still see you.
Even working on your marriage feels like another job.
Another book to read. Another technique to remember. Another conversation to get exactly right. You want closeness, but the effort to create it has left you tired in a way sleep doesn't fix.
You Can Begin With Your Part of the Pattern.
You can learn to speak honestly, ask directly, and stay connected through disagreement. You can practice caring for your spouse while releasing the responsibility to manage every response.
That is where the work begins.
Start the Course"I Was the Husband Who Retreated."
For more than 40 years, I worked with couples as a licensed marriage and family therapist. For years in my own marriage, I carried a pattern I knew far too well.
When things became difficult, I retreated. To the yard. The garage. The lawn mower. I kept busy with things I knew how to handle while avoiding what I didn't know how to face.
Then my wife, Marsha, suffered a ruptured appendix while visiting her parents. I drove to be with her and spent two weeks beside her hospital bed.
There was nothing to argue into place. No case to make. I was there with her.
During that stay, something changed between us. We began letting go of the effort to make each other into someone else. It became the beginning of some of the closest years of our marriage, and the starting point for the principles I now teach.
Marsha later died of cancer. The years of grief that followed deepened this work. When I married Nancy in 2022, I brought both the lessons and the unfinished work with me.
The Relationship Paradox grows out of that personal history and decades of clinical practice. It brings together family systems thinking and Christian spiritual formation around one practical question.
Who are you becoming in the relationships that matter most?
More about Dr. Semon →
Dr. Michael Semon
Retired licensed marriage and family therapist
More than 40 years in clinical practice
Imagine Being Able to Say What You Mean and Stay Present for What Comes Next.
An honest request. A disagreement you don't have to win. An act of kindness that doesn't become another entry in the mental ledger.
These are the everyday moments you'll practice approaching differently.
Ask for what you want out loud.
Disagree without disappearing.
Receive kindness without rushing to repay it.
Give without keeping a running tally.
Let yourself be known, including the unfinished parts.
Make room for connection you don't have to manage.
Say thank you and let a compliment land.
Notice the argument you're rehearsing before you carry it into the room.
Take time to reflect on who you're becoming.
Bring These Practices Into Your Everyday Life.
Short weekly lessons, guided reflection, and specific exercises help you take the work into the moments where your familiar patterns show up.
Start the 12-Week CourseThere Is Room for You in Your Marriage.
Stay connected without losing your voice.
Can you openly, honestly, and respectfully disagree with your spouse and still feel like a good wife?
That question gets to the heart of individuation: developing a clearer sense of yourself while remaining connected to people you love. You'll practice expressing what you think, feel, and want without making agreement the price of closeness.
Care deeply without carrying every outcome.
You can offer kindness. You can make a request. You can own your response. Your spouse still has choices of their own.
Through small, specific exercises, you'll practice releasing the grasping and scorekeeping that can turn love into a transaction.
Less energy spent managing every reaction. More room to be present.
"For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it."Matthew 16:25 (KJV)
The Relationship Paradox Course
A 12-week, self-guided Christian course taught through prerecorded lessons by Dr. Michael Semon. Follow the Dying to Live path through seven biblical principles for becoming more honest, grounded, and free in your relationships.
At its center is the teaching of Matthew 16:25: the paradox of finding life through surrender to Christ.
The course calls this path the "seven deaths": laying down striving, the need to be right, the polished self, self-sufficiency, earning, grasping, and scarcity.
Dying to self does not mean erasing yourself. This work asks you to bring your needs, your voice, and your responsibility into the light while releasing the effort to control another person.
- A welcome video and 12 prerecorded weekly lessons
- A private, fillable workbook, the Scale of Individuation, and the A/B/C diagram
- Access to the Paradox Companion AI tool and Dying to Live app
- One enrollment for you and your spouse, together or individually
Entirely DIY. No private or group coaching, live sessions, or direct contact with Dr. Semon is included.
A Guided Path From Awareness to Practice
See the patterns you've been living.
- Wk 1 No Two People Are Ever in the Same Relationship
- Wk 2 The Story You Tell Yourself
- Wk 3 Growth Through Vulnerability
- Wk 4 Leaving Home: Individuation
Write your Managed Life Inventory. Notice the story you tell yourself about your marriage. Practice letting something true and unpolished be seen. Use the Scale of Individuation and the included A/B/C diagram to explore where you come from, where you keep score, and how you respond when your needs go unmet.
Put the seven principles into practice.
- Wk 5 Be Still
- Wk 6 Honor the Relationship
- Wk 7 Do Justice
- Wk 8 Ask, Seek, Knock
- Wk 9 Receive Freely
- Wk 10 Hold as a Gift
- Wk 11 Give Hilariously
Practice stillness before God. Complete your Relational Audit in week six. Ask honestly, receive kindness without rushing to repay it, and explore giving without expecting recognition. In week ten, return to the outcome you named in week one and write your Release Letter.
Reflect on your growth and name your next steps.
- Wk 12 Reflection & Declaration
Reflect on your experience, revisit the Scale of Individuation, and write your personal Dying to Live Declaration. Read it aloud on your own, or share it with your spouse if you choose. Identify what you want to continue practicing in everyday life.
Twelve weeks gives you a place to begin and practices you can keep returning to.
You Can Begin Before Your Spouse Is Ready.
Maybe you've been waiting for him to agree that something needs to change. Or to read the book. Or to want the same kind of help you want.
This course gives you work you can begin yourself.
Begin with the welcome lesson, then follow the course in order. Make room to reflect, write, and practice each week's teaching in your everyday life. You can do the work independently or alongside your spouse.
Enroll in The Relationship Paradox CourseHere's What Comes With Your Enrollment.
A Welcome Video and Twelve Prerecorded Lessons
Learn from Dr. Michael Semon's recorded teachings. Follow a structured 12-week sequence, with focused lessons and time to put the principles into practice in your own life.
Your Private Participant Workbook
Work through scripture, reflection questions, and practical exercises. Your fillable workbook gives you private space to put words to what you're noticing and return to your reflections as you move through the course.
The Scale of Individuation and A/B/C Diagram
Use the included assessment and its instructions to establish your starting point, explore it alongside the week-four teaching, and revisit it in week twelve. The A/B/C visual helps you map the inherited self, the position of priority and scorekeeping, and the place of unmet needs explored through the course's Christian framework. These tools support reflection and practice, without grading your worth or promising a particular score.
Access to the Paradox Companion
Explore questions about the course's ideas with an AI tool drawing on Dr. Semon's 21 books. Access is included with your DIY enrollment. Responses are AI-generated; you are not messaging Dr. Semon or receiving personal coaching.
Access to the Dying to Live App
Use the included app to follow the daily retreat and revisit the seven deaths as you bring the principles into your day.
Signature Guided Exercises
The Managed Life Inventory, outcome reflection and Release Letter, Relational Audit, and Dying to Live Declaration help you move from recognizing a pattern to practicing a different response. Complete them independently in your own materials.
Begin The Relationship Paradox Course
Twelve weeks of guided work. One place to start.
Your enrollment includes:
- A welcome video and all 12 prerecorded weekly lessons
- The private, fillable participant workbook
- The Scale of Individuation with instructions
- The A/B/C diagram in your course materials
- Access to the Paradox Companion AI tool
- Access to the Dying to Live app
- Signature reflection and practice exercises
- Participation for both spouses under one purchase
$97 One payment
Enroll NowA structured DIY course you can take on your own or with your spouse. No coaching or direct contact with Dr. Semon is included.
Hear It From People Who Have Done This Work
You Know How to Keep Things Going. What Would It Look Like to Feel More Present in Your Own Life?
You've spent years paying attention to what everyone else needs.
Take time to notice what you believe, what you want, and how you show up when closeness feels difficult.
That is meaningful work. You can begin it here.
The Relationship Paradox Course
One purchase covers both spouses. You can also take the course on your own.
$97
One payment
Begin the CourseLearn through prerecorded teaching and complete the work independently. No coaching or direct contact with Dr. Semon is included.
A Few Questions You May Be Asking
Is this self-guided, or will I meet with Dr. Semon?
This course is entirely self-guided. You learn through prerecorded lessons and complete the reflections and exercises independently. In the self-study course, there is no private coaching, group coaching, live instruction, personal feedback, or direct contact with Dr. Semon. Your enrollment includes the workbook, assessment, diagram, AI companion, and app to support your independent work. If you would like 12-weeks of coaching custom to your situation with Dr. Michael Semon, consider the individual or couple coaching package!
Are the AI companion and app included?
Yes. DIY enrollment includes access to the Paradox Companion and Dying to Live app. The Paradox Companion is an AI tool drawing on Dr. Semon's books. It is not direct access to him and does not include personal coaching.
Does my spouse have to participate?
No. You can take the course on your own. The lessons focus on your patterns, choices, and ways of relating, so you have work to do even if your spouse isn't ready. If you both participate, one purchase covers you both.
How is this different from another communication course?
The focus is the person using the communication tools. You'll explore what happens when you fear disagreement, hide your needs, keep score, or feel responsible for everyone's emotions. Then you'll practice responding with greater honesty and steadiness.
Is this a Christian course?
Yes. Scripture, surrender to Christ, and Christian spiritual formation are central throughout. The course combines this framework with ideas drawn from Dr. Semon's clinical work and family systems thinking.
Does "dying to self" mean putting my needs last?
The course asks you to recognize and express your needs honestly. You'll practice asking directly, allowing disagreement, and staying connected without disappearing. Surrender here means releasing patterns such as striving, grasping, and scorekeeping. It does not require abandoning your voice or boundaries.
How much time will I need each week?
Plan time for the recorded lesson, workbook reflection, and practical exercises. Some practices happen throughout the week: week five, for example, asks you to spend ten minutes in stillness each morning for seven days. The final week also includes reflection, reassessment, and your personal declaration. This is a course to practice, as well as watch.
How should I work through the course?
Start with the welcome lesson and follow the twelve weeks in order. The course is designed around a weekly rhythm so you have time to put each teaching into practice. Keep your workbook reflections as you go; later exercises return to what you noticed and wrote earlier.
Will this save my marriage?
No course can promise that outcome or determine your spouse's choices. This course gives you a structured way to work on your part of the relationship. Twelve weeks is a starting point for continued growth, not a deadline for becoming a different person.
You've Carried a Lot. Begin With One Honest Step.
An honest inventory. A request spoken out loud. A moment when you notice the urge to manage everything and practice a different response.
The Relationship Paradox Course gives you a place to begin that work, with biblical principles and specific practices to guide you.
Bring your willingness. Bring your questions. Bring the parts of yourself you've grown used to keeping quiet.
This is where the honest work begins.